According To Astrology, Here Is What You Should Buy Your Mom

May 06, 2018 1 Comment

 *this post may contain Amazon or other affiliate links

 

If you're having a tough time figuring out what to give your mom for Mother's day, here is a humorous guide to finding the perfect gift, based on the traits and qualities of her zodiac sign. 

 

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 Aries

If your mom is an Aries, she’s likely pretty energetic and always on the go, which means she probably dragged you to all of her favorite events and activities when you were a kid, whether you wanted to go or not. (Who’s the kid here anyway, said every child of an Aries.) As self-involved as she might be, you’re one of the most important people in her life, so show mom you care with something like…

• A hard hat
• Sneakers that light up when you walk
• Tickets to a game

Best Loose Leaf gifts for these energetic ladies:

• One of these amazing travel-friendly tea tumblers
• Bulletproof Breakfast makes a tasty, energizing morning brew
• A bottle of relaxing Lavender oil, because do you really have to ask?

 

 

Taurus

Taureans are well known for being thrifty (tightwads), caring (overinvolved), and practical (boring). Everyone in House Hufflepuff was a Taurus. The upside of having a Taurus for a mom: she always has $100 to loan you, and she’ll make sandwiches for you and the crew 24/7. They’re also some of the best huggers of the zodiac, which probably did wonders for your self-esteem growing up. For this reason alone, you should get her something awesome, like…

• A tool kit (and not pink)
• A pet rock
• A rock painting set
• A new houseplant (the more, the merrier)

Taurus moms will love these Loose Leaf ideas:

• Taurus moms with a traditional streak will appreciate fragrant and delicious Earl Grey tea
• Since this earth sign is so grounded and physical, she will love Inflammation Relief tea to help her feel strong, calm, and healthy
• You will make her day with this beautiful crackle glaze square teapot

 

Gemini

Geminis require novelty, and bore easily. They tend to misplace everything, so don’t spend too much money on something that might end up wedged in the couch. It’s likely that she might even forget it’s Mother’s Day, but in the event she actually remembers (unlike a few of your birthdays) she will want a thoughtful gift, so make it sure it’s interesting, with a good back story. A few thoughtful ideas…

• A Route 66 road atlas
• Very chewy artisanal taffy, so she will hopefully stop talking for a few minutes
• Anything antique and unusual

These bright and energetic Gemini mamas will appreciate these relaxing and grounding herbal goodies:

• Because Geminis adore variety, a Just Try 5 tea sample pack is a fun way to try new teas without making a commitment to just one (so boring)
• Anxiety Relief tea (if you’ve spent more than 3 minutes with a Gemini, you will understand why)
• Gemini mom will be fascinated with the rich indigo-purple color of Lush Lavender tea, which will also settle her nerves

 

 

Cancer

Cancer mothers will always worry about you, so your best gift to her is getting your act together. If you haven’t done that yet, skip the gift, check yourself into rehab, and send her a postcard from there. That will make her day far more than a new Keurig. (Side note: If your mom is Italian, multiply all Cancerian qualities by 100.) Beyond that, here are a few gift ideas that will let her know that A. you love her and B. you’re FINE. Wow her with something like this:

• A “How To Season Family Meals With Guilt” cookbook (or this cookbook of plant-powered Italian recipes)
• A Guy Fieri decorated skillet
• Just move back home already

Loving and sentimental Cancer moms will also appreciate :

• Joyful Garden tea to uplift her mood and help her feel calm
• Stomach Soother tea was made for worrywart Cancerian moms with agita, the Italian word for "now look what you've done, my stomach is all upset thanks to you"
• How about a hug on the inside? Sweet and refreshing Hug In A Mug tea will remind her how much you care with every sip

 

Leo

Loyal Leo moms will appreciate whatever you give to her, because you’re her cub, and can do no wrong ever. You still might be able to get away with drawing her a picture, but what she really wants is a day at the spa. Alone. If that’s out of your budget, she will appreciate…

• High end hair care stuff
• A gilded mirror
• A vintage Charlie’s Angels poster, for some old-school 1970’s hair inspiration

Big-hearted Leos will also love:

• I Heart Pomegranates tea; Leo rules the heart, and this tea promotes a healthy heart
• A Happiness Tea Box, filled with joy-inducing teas
• Love My Hair tea, for obvious reasons

 

 

Virgo

It’s not that Virgo moms are completely unemotional, they're just nerdier than other zodiac signs. Picture Mr. Spock managing a daycare, a highly illogical scenario, and you will get a glimpse into the inner workings of a Virgo’s mind when it comes to parenting. A huge plus: analytical Virgo mothers can really roll with it once they crack into the childhood operating system interface. She probably spent most of your tender years in a state of chronic constipation, but weren't you the neatest, cleanest, best groomed kid on the block? This deserves some gratitude, don’t you think? Best gifts for Virgos…

• A list-type journal
• A gift card to the Container Store
• Comfy sweatpants
• Natural digestive aids

Kidding aside, earth sign Virgos will enjoy these:

• Ti Quan Yin Oolong; the health benefits and subtle fragrance and flavor hit all the important Virgo points
• Take A Chill Pill herbal blend cuts out stress within minutes, and you know she needs it
• She will appreciate the sleek design and lovely functionality of this universal stainless steel tea infuser

 

Libra

Libras love beauty. And themselves. The term “mirror face” was coined after observing Libras getting ready. Speaking of getting ready, make reservations way in advance for Mother’s Day brunch, because Libras love dressing up and going out for mimosas, which they can knock back faster than you can say “narcissist”. Seriously though, your Libra mom loves you more than anything, and wants you to be happy and successful (because that makes her look good). Despite her “flawlessness”, she’s pretty awesome, and deserves something special, like…

• Designer napkin rings
• A life-size portrait of herself in a gorgeous frame
• Makeup
• Diamonds

And because you want her to live a long and healthy life, give her something from this Loose Leaf list:

• Ginseng Green Dragon tea, for long lasting energy
• Moroccan Rose Mint tea is a natural beauty enhancer, and contains her fave flower: rose
• If she is one of those indecisive Libras, a tea sampler box will take the pressure off and allow her to enjoy multiple teas without having to make a decision 

 

 

Scorpio

Your Scorpio mom (aka “The Sea Witch”) still sees right through you. After all, she read all of your journals (for your own good), and continues to stalk you on Facebook. Why? Because she really loves you (although she somehow equates that with obsessing over your every move.) So what, it’s your mom and you love her, so get her something awesome, or she will never forget it, and you will feel the burn on your next birthday. Just kidding, she would never do that. Tip: do your shopping at a Halloween-themed store. Here are some ideas she will adore…

• Anything blood-red, maroon, or black
• Anything spider-themed
• A new cloak
• A zip drive with all of your passwords

For real, though, this devoted mom will appreciate any of these:

• Puehr tea; smooth, dark, rich, and grounding
• An Elephant Never Forgets tea will keep her investigative brain razor sharp
• A big, bright, bold ceramic mug with a clever built-in steeper will reminder how much you love her with every cup of tea

 

Sagittarius

If you have a Sagittarian mom, you probably attended your first protest march before you could walk. Your earliest drawings were on poster board signs for these marches. Travel is also important to this sign, though it’s more "Peace Corp." and less "Cancun." These social justice warriors aren’t all that materialistic, which makes them difficult to shop for. Unless it’s fair trade, with the proceeds going to an animal rescue fund, don’t even bother, or you’ll get a lecture about sweatshops and sustainability, you will roll your eyes, and there goes your day. Instead, give her something she will sincerely appreciate:

• A puppy
• Volunteer with her at a shelter
• Tom’s shoes

Your Archer mom will also love:

• Any Loose Leaf caffeinated tea, as long as it’s organic and fair trade
• Raw, local honey to sweeten said tea
• The easiest tea brewing accessory you can find, like these drawstring tea filters

 

 

Capricorn

Fortunately, Capricorn moms have great sense of humor. Unfortunately, it’s buried deep beneath a crust of workaholism, under sedimentary layers of ambition and self-denial. Truth be told, she likes herself just as she is. She likes you just as you are too, so don’t give her a hard time about “needing to pamper herself” because it’s never going to happen. Instead, consider giving her…

• A subscription to Barrons
• A new high-precision calculator
• Shoe inserts

Earth sign Capricorns appreciate rich flavors and aromas, so consider something like this…

• Lucky Morning Spice tea; smooth Darjeeling flavor is enhanced but not drowned out by aromatic spices
• Peach Apricot black tea is smooth and sweetly satisfying
• Capricorn mama will love the simple and pleasing design of these ceramic tea pots with their precision-machined fine infuser and smooth matte finish

 

Aquarius

If your mom drove a Volvo, ran for office, helped you start an insect collection, and chose not to get you vaccinated, chances are she is an Aquarius. And that means, good luck shopping for her, because this sign has a markedly weird relationship with the physical world. An Aquarius might forget to eat for days on end, but spend an entire paycheck on Star Trek merchandise. You just can’t figure some people out. But since it’s Mother’s Day, consider these ideas…

• A week at Space Camp
• A CSA subscription
• Birkenstocks
• Comicon passes

If your air sign mama likes natural stuff like tea, she will love these options:

• Lady Ginger tea, with a unique flavor and uplifting aroma
• Cranberry Apple Tart is just plain fun, and also supports circulation, which is ruled by Aquarius
• The unique color and flavor of Ultra Violet tea will appeal to her love of all things interesting, simple, and yummy

 

 

Pisces

The Pisces mother is the embodiment of selfless love, escapism, and mediumship. She has a dreamy nature and is easily distracted, so loudly clap your hands a few times to get her attention. Once all eyes are on you, give her a bear hug, at which point she will probably start to cry, because Pisces are so dang emotional. Don’t bother getting her a deck of tarot cards, because she already knows what’s going to happen. Do…

• Get your aura photos taken together
• Sign her up for crafting classes
• Buy her anything with a mermaid on it (mermaids are her spirit animal, in case you didn’t know)

Pisces moms will also love:

• A tea ball with an attached crystal to enhance her already formidable psychic abilities
• Yummy and healthy Blueberry Thrill tea, perfectly sweet, just like her
• Soothing teas with chamomile, such as Daily Calm or Inflammation Relief

 

No matter what sign your mother is, she is amazing and deserves the happiest Mother’s Day ever!

 

SHOP FOR MOM AND SAVE 15% ON ALL TEAS WITH CODE LUVUMOM

 

~Kita, Gemini, daughter of a Libra

 

 

 

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